Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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