im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
