She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
tell me about the eggs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
