hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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