You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
