And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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