the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
