but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
