After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
