Screwed.edu
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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