Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
