Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
