Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i think i just lost a toe
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize