You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
