Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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