you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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