the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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