Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
