his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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