Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
