the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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