At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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