"it" just moved
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
