It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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