beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize