Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
