I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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