a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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