I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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