Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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