Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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