I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
