Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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