i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is it because I queefed?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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