I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize