five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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