i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
