I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize