I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize