He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize