We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
