i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
whose parrot is this?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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