xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
