And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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