please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
