Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
