He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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