I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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