after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
