True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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