What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
are you so shy because you have an std?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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