Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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