i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
