I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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