There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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