You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
