Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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