Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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