You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize