I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
