dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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